I entered into marriage knowing that I knew Nick pretty well, and that I would learn even more, not only about him, but about marriage and also compromise. Maybe it's the teacher in me, but I do have a tendency to adopt a "my way or the highway" attitude. I've learned a lot more in the first few months of my marriage than I really expected. At times it isn't easy to be kind and patient with Nick. When I've had a rough day at work, it's much easier to bring that irritation home and take it out on him, and there have been a couple of times that I've done just that.
I've learned things like boys are messy. I was lucky to grow up in a household of women. My poor Dad was the only man in the house. Even the family dog was a girl. Dad did a great job of adapting to that and was pretty clean...or maybe Mom just trained him well. Nick is a lot like my Dad in many ways, but he doesn't wash dishes. He helps cook if I need it, and he puts things into the dishwasher but washing dishes is where he draws the line. Keeping the floor in the laundry room clean is next to impossible. He laughs at me when movies make me cry and he hogs the laptop that's supposed to be mine to play his computer games. And regardless of how well you tend to your own finances, it's tricky to meld the two together.
Marrying a farmer has a whole other set of things to learn. As much as I was a country girl at heart, I grew up in the city...if Salem can be considered a city. When Nick and I started dating, I could barely drive a vehicle with a manual transmission. The closest I'd gotten to a cow was at the county fair or feeding the neighbor's cows corn cobs over the fence. I didn't know how to make cows go in the direction I wanted them to go and I was constantly stepping in mud with my old tennis shoes and my flip flops. I can only imagine what Nick's Dad and brothers thought about having some idiot girl around. But Nick was patient in teaching me what to do, and in the 3 years sinc I've been around the farm I can not only make cows move, I can lead them around with their halters, catch them in the chute, drive the tractor AND rake hay, and slog through the mud with the best of 'em.
This might sound like a bit of complaining about my husband but that's not what it's intended to be. Because out of all these basics I've learned about living with my husband in general, I've also learned some really great things too, like how he kisses me hello when we get home every day. And how he tells me that dinner is the best he's ever had every night, and that it's really nice falling asleep on his shoulder ever night. So to all you girls out there preparing for marriage, take it for me, don't get too caught up in sweeping chew off the carpet and Swiffer-Vac'ing up the messes on the kitchen floor. Take more time to enjoy the little things that make new marriage so special.
Talk of the Town #99
2 days ago